We hadn't been driving for long on a forever straight road when we saw a cop car in the oncoming lane. Our hearts sank, because we knew that as soon as he'd see us, he'd do a U-turn. And he did.
There was a store within 100m so we pulled off to "get water" but to really let the cop by. He kept going, phew. Unfortunately, the driveway to the store was so shite, that we figured with the cop 4 cars ahead, it wasn't worth the risk. So we got back on the road, only to see the cop make another U-turn up ahead, and as soon as we passed him, he turned around and pulled up behind us. We immediately slowed down to below speed limit, not that we were speeding to begin with in a 90. And up ahead there was a 70 sign. We slowed down to BELOW 70 before we hit the 70 sign, just in case.
Of course, it didn't matter. The siren went, the lights flashed, and he almost ran us off the road, actually. Right up beside us and our mirrors almost touched. There were two of them, and the passenger cop came up and asked for license and registration and we played dumb asking what the problem was in English. It was a cycle of him giving us no info and requesting documents, and it wasn't until he said we were speeding at 82 in the 70 zone, that my Russian came out. He asked Justin to step out and come to their car, but I said he doesn't speak a word and I was invited along.
I got in the passenger seat while justin hung over the open door, and the passenger cop got in the back.
The driver asked for our documents and when I asked why, he said we were speeding. He showed the picture on the dashcam of our car BEFORE the 70 sign and pointed at the "65km/h" on the screen saying that was his speed, and that WE were going over. Lol, what? He didn't say what our speed was and he never pulled out any paper work. He did demand our passport and license and at first I said we didn't have our license because it was stolen, to again, plant the seed. We showed him the report, they talked amongst themselves, and he asked me what are we going to do? I shrugged. He asked if he should write us up. I said no. He said why not, and I said because we don't have money?
They discussed more, and it continued to be a cycle of them clearly trying to get something out of us and us standing our ground. Justin was pissed and I played good cop and "calmed" him down by telling him to just wait many times and continued to play my charm. We were very civilized otherwise, and even giggled in between.
We did have to give them our license though because I didn't want to get in trouble for driving without one at all, just explained that it's specifically Canadian, not international. He asked if we've been pulled over at all since we've been in the country, I said no.
They then chatted amongst themselves again, and asked if we had AC. I said no, and laughed at how our car doesn't have much. I may have called it a piece of shit car, sorry No Ragrets, I didn't mean it.
He then tried pointing at the image again and claimed the big yellow square that said "093" (probably the image number) was our speed which would have only been possible before we saw them the first time, no where near the sign. And even then, we claimed our car doesn't even go that fast. The ONLY source of speed on that image was the 65km/h which claimed was his, which we also mentioned we recorded ourselves and we definitely weren't going 70, let alone 90. I reiterated we have no money because we were afraid of getting robbed again so we carried no cash. I noted a pack of cigarettes in the centre console, so that could be up for negotiation as we stocked up at duty free, but I kept that on the back burner and wasn't going to bring it up unless an absolute must.
After asking me a few more times if he should write us up and me batting my eyelashes with a giggle saying please no, the cops made eye contact in the rear view mirror, said something, and handed over our documents reluctantly.
The whole ordeal took over half an hour but in the end didn't cost us anything.
ps. We wrote "lights" on the window to remember to always turn them on. Maybe that would decrease the times we get pulled over? Nope.